Celine Dion "My Heart Will Go On" from Ana Sofia Ramos on Vimeo.
*_*
Suddenly I am sixteen again...
I've talked about it before, but it bears repeating since it still hasn't changed - this song (and the movie) have such a treasured spot in my heart. It takes me back to when I was sixteen, an angsty teenager with the hugest crush on Leonardo DiCaprio, fascinated by the story of Titanic and the love story of the movie.
And god, Celine is just freaking amazing. Even now twenty years later, she has such power in her voice - such emotion. She's a true diva and her performance here is incredible and moving. I imagine it brings back memories of her husband - she appeared emotional during the performance, and I have to assume that she found herself thinking of him.
I really do need to rewatch the movie sometime soon. I haven't in awhile, in part because I can practically rewatch it in my head, but it's not quite the same. Besides, Leo and Kate are both eye-candy in this movie. :D
There are
#mylivejournal #lj18 #happybirthday
LJ is 18??? Crazy... Though what's crazier in a way is that I've had this journal for 15 years.
It's stupid, really, the stuff that I find myself missing.
I mean, there are the obvious things. Like the way she would sit beside me patiently, and then when I looked at her, she would chirp (a sort of 'mrrp!' sound) so that I would pet her. Or the way that she would put her paws up on my arm to get my attention, or bat at my nose in the morning to wake me up. There's the way that she would come over to drape herself across my arm as I was typing...
It's the other things that I keep noticing. Like how I don't need to be quite as paranoid with bones, now, because Abby won't jump up instantaneously to get into them. When I'm cooking meat I don't have Cai meowing at me as though I haven't fed her in five hours. Abby eats more dry food than Cai did, so I don't have Cai pestering me in the middle of the afternoon because it's time for me to feed her and I've clearly forgotten. I don't have to worry about waking up in the middle of the night because she's gotten up on the counter and my intuition somehow just knows. In the spring I won't have her meowing endlessly... All things that irritated me, that I now miss.
I just miss her. I come home and I look at little Abby and I feel sad, because she's all by herself now. It's truly amazing how different the apartment feels without Cai - it feels emptier, and quieter. Which makes no sense, because she wasn't that big and she wasn't that loud. But still, the feeling is there.
~*~*~
In the meantime, Vancouver is dealing with a snowstorm. We got around fifteen centimetres over the weekend and we're supposed to even more tonight. Hopefully my morning commute isn't too crazy. It helps me being out of the house - when I'm at home I tend to dwell, and that's no good. I've watched more TV in the last few days than I have in months, because I need the distraction.
I recently got an instant pot, so that's helped as well. I've been cooking away in it over the last little bit - so far I've made chicken thighs, ribs, pork chops, soup, a whole chicken & stock, and tonight I made buffalo wings. All of this in about a week and a couple of days, which was rather silly of me. Still, it's a sign that hopefully I'll be able to keep cooking in the future.
That's all for now, I guess.
I mean, there are the obvious things. Like the way she would sit beside me patiently, and then when I looked at her, she would chirp (a sort of 'mrrp!' sound) so that I would pet her. Or the way that she would put her paws up on my arm to get my attention, or bat at my nose in the morning to wake me up. There's the way that she would come over to drape herself across my arm as I was typing...
It's the other things that I keep noticing. Like how I don't need to be quite as paranoid with bones, now, because Abby won't jump up instantaneously to get into them. When I'm cooking meat I don't have Cai meowing at me as though I haven't fed her in five hours. Abby eats more dry food than Cai did, so I don't have Cai pestering me in the middle of the afternoon because it's time for me to feed her and I've clearly forgotten. I don't have to worry about waking up in the middle of the night because she's gotten up on the counter and my intuition somehow just knows. In the spring I won't have her meowing endlessly... All things that irritated me, that I now miss.
I just miss her. I come home and I look at little Abby and I feel sad, because she's all by herself now. It's truly amazing how different the apartment feels without Cai - it feels emptier, and quieter. Which makes no sense, because she wasn't that big and she wasn't that loud. But still, the feeling is there.
~*~*~
In the meantime, Vancouver is dealing with a snowstorm. We got around fifteen centimetres over the weekend and we're supposed to even more tonight. Hopefully my morning commute isn't too crazy. It helps me being out of the house - when I'm at home I tend to dwell, and that's no good. I've watched more TV in the last few days than I have in months, because I need the distraction.
I recently got an instant pot, so that's helped as well. I've been cooking away in it over the last little bit - so far I've made chicken thighs, ribs, pork chops, soup, a whole chicken & stock, and tonight I made buffalo wings. All of this in about a week and a couple of days, which was rather silly of me. Still, it's a sign that hopefully I'll be able to keep cooking in the future.
That's all for now, I guess.
As a Canadian I can't help but keep an eye on the elections in the US. We tend to trend after the US a few years later, and I also have a lot of American friends as well as some relatives who live in the US. There were two things that I was convinced of, a few months ago.
One was that Trump would do better than expected at the debates.
The other was that Nate Silver was right and the race in the US was volatile and would be closer than anyone thought, with undecideds being the key factor.
I was wrong about the first and right about the second and oh, how I wish I could flip them.
I actually let myself be swayed from the second as time went on. And maybe that was the bubble effect that people are starting to talk about with regards to social media - everywhere I looked (not so much here, because I haven't been on LJ) people were telling me that Silver was wrong, he was way off, he was going to be the outlier this time. Hillary had ground game, she had the Dem coalition, and then there were the polls. People talked about Democratic 'bedwetting' and scoffed and said we had to have some faith.
Two nights before the election the campaign expressed concern about MI, people told me the campaign was probably just trying to drum up support. There was an article written about Silver 'having his thumb on the scale' in favour of Trump, people loved it. How wrong could you get, they said.
Turns out people should have listened, but I didn't want to be right about this. I was fully prepared to be wrong and I *wanted* to be wrong, wanted that small voice that said Silver might be on to something after Brexit to be wrong.
I talked to my gran on the phone this morning and as soon as I heard her voice I started crying. (Good thing I was only on my way to work and not actually there!) Like I told her, in that moment I needed to hear my grandma's voice and have her tell me that it was going to be okay. I'm 35 years old but I felt like a little girl again, just wanting that reassurance. She's trended Canadian conservative all her life (different than US conservative) but still expressed empathy for how devastated Hillary must feel, and hope that Trump won't do what he said he would.
It helps a little, but only a little. My twitter feed is full of frightened, sad voices. I saw screenshots of Muslims being afraid to wear the hijab, other Muslims telling them not to wear it for safety's sake. I saw suicide hotlines going around, and messages for people to go and fill up on their birth control, for trans people to go and get their passport in their correct gender. Over here I've seen a lot of fear and despair as well. I haven't even looked at Tumblr.
I've spent a lot of time on Reddit the last couple of years, and in some way I love it. It brings back a bit of the discussion that I so miss about LJ - there are still people here, but it's not the vibrant community it once was. What's missing is the feeling of community, though. LJ feels safe, like home. Even Tumblr feels safer than Reddit does at the moment. Reddit is predominantly white and male and at the moment that doesn't feel like a place where I'm welcome. The Hillary sub has gone quiet because it's being brigaded to hell and back. All comments are moderated at the moment and I can only imagine the vitriol the mods are having to wade through.
I haven't even looked at the politics or news subs, I can't bear to. People had been eagerly looking forward to t_d being shut down, that's not going to happen now. I see 'shoulda been Bernie' smugly being preached but at least over here I see push-back, I see people calling out the hate where they see it, I see people not accepting the blame being pushed on the left.
Maybe that sort of thing is why LJ still feels like home - even after so many years of using it, even after I go quiet for awhile.
I think probably the worst of it is the feeling of helplessness. I'm Canadian, I'll be okay, but what about everyone else? At the moment all I can do is send love to those of you on my f-list who are in the US. We Canadians are concerned for you, I don't know anyone who isn't.
One was that Trump would do better than expected at the debates.
The other was that Nate Silver was right and the race in the US was volatile and would be closer than anyone thought, with undecideds being the key factor.
I was wrong about the first and right about the second and oh, how I wish I could flip them.
I actually let myself be swayed from the second as time went on. And maybe that was the bubble effect that people are starting to talk about with regards to social media - everywhere I looked (not so much here, because I haven't been on LJ) people were telling me that Silver was wrong, he was way off, he was going to be the outlier this time. Hillary had ground game, she had the Dem coalition, and then there were the polls. People talked about Democratic 'bedwetting' and scoffed and said we had to have some faith.
Two nights before the election the campaign expressed concern about MI, people told me the campaign was probably just trying to drum up support. There was an article written about Silver 'having his thumb on the scale' in favour of Trump, people loved it. How wrong could you get, they said.
Turns out people should have listened, but I didn't want to be right about this. I was fully prepared to be wrong and I *wanted* to be wrong, wanted that small voice that said Silver might be on to something after Brexit to be wrong.
I talked to my gran on the phone this morning and as soon as I heard her voice I started crying. (Good thing I was only on my way to work and not actually there!) Like I told her, in that moment I needed to hear my grandma's voice and have her tell me that it was going to be okay. I'm 35 years old but I felt like a little girl again, just wanting that reassurance. She's trended Canadian conservative all her life (different than US conservative) but still expressed empathy for how devastated Hillary must feel, and hope that Trump won't do what he said he would.
It helps a little, but only a little. My twitter feed is full of frightened, sad voices. I saw screenshots of Muslims being afraid to wear the hijab, other Muslims telling them not to wear it for safety's sake. I saw suicide hotlines going around, and messages for people to go and fill up on their birth control, for trans people to go and get their passport in their correct gender. Over here I've seen a lot of fear and despair as well. I haven't even looked at Tumblr.
I've spent a lot of time on Reddit the last couple of years, and in some way I love it. It brings back a bit of the discussion that I so miss about LJ - there are still people here, but it's not the vibrant community it once was. What's missing is the feeling of community, though. LJ feels safe, like home. Even Tumblr feels safer than Reddit does at the moment. Reddit is predominantly white and male and at the moment that doesn't feel like a place where I'm welcome. The Hillary sub has gone quiet because it's being brigaded to hell and back. All comments are moderated at the moment and I can only imagine the vitriol the mods are having to wade through.
I haven't even looked at the politics or news subs, I can't bear to. People had been eagerly looking forward to t_d being shut down, that's not going to happen now. I see 'shoulda been Bernie' smugly being preached but at least over here I see push-back, I see people calling out the hate where they see it, I see people not accepting the blame being pushed on the left.
Maybe that sort of thing is why LJ still feels like home - even after so many years of using it, even after I go quiet for awhile.
I think probably the worst of it is the feeling of helplessness. I'm Canadian, I'll be okay, but what about everyone else? At the moment all I can do is send love to those of you on my f-list who are in the US. We Canadians are concerned for you, I don't know anyone who isn't.
I legitimately feel as though I am going to vomit right now. Spent September and most of October being highly nervous but then calmed down due to polls etc. Now I'm feeling like I should have gone with my gut instinct. Tonight has my nerves raw as hell and I'm just praying for the best tbh.
It feels a bit like deja-vu, looking at my last entry. I guess being sad pushes me to post?
I've been sad on and off since yesterday, when the news of Robin Williams' death first hit. It made me cry, and I haven't cried over a celebrity death since Heath Ledger, I think. It seems like everyone feels the same way, too - there are posts about him everywhere I look, from Twitter, to Tumblr, to Facebook, to Reddit.
Everyone loved him.
I know it's cheesy and there's nothing to base it on, but he somehow always seemed like such a good man. The way he helped Christopher Reeve and his family, the way he seemed to care so much about his family - about people, with his desire to make them laugh. And there was a depth in his comedy - moments in Mrs. Doubtfire and Patch Adams where I saw these emotions that surprised me, in a comedy. That may be attributed to his acting ability, which was incredible - but of course I have to wonder if that depth was there from personal experience, reading about his struggles over the years.
It just makes a part of me ache to think about how deeply unhappy he must have been - someone who brought so much joy and laughter to the world, and will continue to do so, mired in the darkness of depression, desperate for a way out - any way out. People are saying that it might bring attention to mental illness and depression, and I certainly hope so. Depression hurts, and depression kills - that's the plain truth. A death from depression should be viewed as no different than a death from any disease, but somehow that's ignored.
I've been there, and I hope I never end up back there again.
Rest in peace, Robin. I truly hope you've found it, now.
There are
comments at Dreamwidth. http://kerri.dreamwidth.org/725366.h tml#comments
I've been sad on and off since yesterday, when the news of Robin Williams' death first hit. It made me cry, and I haven't cried over a celebrity death since Heath Ledger, I think. It seems like everyone feels the same way, too - there are posts about him everywhere I look, from Twitter, to Tumblr, to Facebook, to Reddit.
Everyone loved him.
I know it's cheesy and there's nothing to base it on, but he somehow always seemed like such a good man. The way he helped Christopher Reeve and his family, the way he seemed to care so much about his family - about people, with his desire to make them laugh. And there was a depth in his comedy - moments in Mrs. Doubtfire and Patch Adams where I saw these emotions that surprised me, in a comedy. That may be attributed to his acting ability, which was incredible - but of course I have to wonder if that depth was there from personal experience, reading about his struggles over the years.
It just makes a part of me ache to think about how deeply unhappy he must have been - someone who brought so much joy and laughter to the world, and will continue to do so, mired in the darkness of depression, desperate for a way out - any way out. People are saying that it might bring attention to mental illness and depression, and I certainly hope so. Depression hurts, and depression kills - that's the plain truth. A death from depression should be viewed as no different than a death from any disease, but somehow that's ignored.
I've been there, and I hope I never end up back there again.
Rest in peace, Robin. I truly hope you've found it, now.
There are
Probably going against the mold here, but I... Don't really mind the new layout? It's really crisp and clean. I can't really think of anything that I hate about it, so far - other than the usual white space issue but I've given up on companies ever realising or acknowledging that for some people that's an issue.
I haven't posted here in awhile... I'm over on Tumblr and Reddit more now and even Goodreads. It's sad that everything is so divided up but I don't really know how to combat that.
I've been watching Hannibal, which is awesome, and of course Orphan Black! (I need to catch up, I'm only up to episode 2) There's also 24 and I just recently bought the first season of Agents of Shield since people seem so enthusiastic about it, I hope it'll be worth it.
I know that a lot of people have said that they miss discussion and stuff, and while it's not as intimate if you're looking for a format that's more geared to discussion you could check out Reddit. I used to avoid it like the plague and it certainly is filled with a lot of garbage and sexism but there are a lot of friendly sub-reddits focused on just about anything you can think of - feminism, women's issues, tv shows, cute animals, etc. So I use Tumblr for pretty pictures and squee and kinda wander between Reddit and LJ for discussion.
I haven't posted here in awhile... I'm over on Tumblr and Reddit more now and even Goodreads. It's sad that everything is so divided up but I don't really know how to combat that.
I've been watching Hannibal, which is awesome, and of course Orphan Black! (I need to catch up, I'm only up to episode 2) There's also 24 and I just recently bought the first season of Agents of Shield since people seem so enthusiastic about it, I hope it'll be worth it.
I know that a lot of people have said that they miss discussion and stuff, and while it's not as intimate if you're looking for a format that's more geared to discussion you could check out Reddit. I used to avoid it like the plague and it certainly is filled with a lot of garbage and sexism but there are a lot of friendly sub-reddits focused on just about anything you can think of - feminism, women's issues, tv shows, cute animals, etc. So I use Tumblr for pretty pictures and squee and kinda wander between Reddit and LJ for discussion.
"If JKR Cares About Writing, She Should Stop Doing It"
I read this article early this morning and since then I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.
I started off angry - I'm still angry, I have to admit. I also feel a bit of pity for the woman who wrote it, however, and disbelief that she could ever, ever have thought that this article was a good idea.
The first place she went wrong was by opening with the criticism of the Potter books combined with a jab at those who read them, topped off by her blithely saying that she hasn't read the series or even watched the movies. This is a trifecta of errors that is sure to anger almost any adult reader who has loved the Harry Potter books. She's not the first person to talk shit about a book she hasn't read (I've done it myself, with regards to Twilight and 50 Shades), but then you add in the fact that she is doing this publicly while simultaneously looking down her nose at those who read them and seemingly taking a jab at Rowling herself by saying that she was 'Pottering about'.
Right off the bat, I'd say that she'd have about 80% of the readers who click on her article primed for anger. So what comes next is just the whiny icing on the cake.
By all means keep writing for kids, or for your personal pleasure - I would never deny anyone that - but when it comes to the adult market you've had your turn. Enjoy your vast fortune and the good you're doing with it, luxuriate in the love of your legions of fans, and good luck to you on both counts. But it's time to give other writers, and other writing, room to breathe.
I honestly can't even wrap my head around what she's getting at here. There's a combination of petty whining and also, again, the jab at Rowling - she belongs in the 'kids' genre, apparently, and how dare she try to write an adult mystery. That's not her turf! She doesn't belong there! She's stopping other writers from getting the attention?
Here's where it almost gets funny, because it's like she thinks that readers must have some sort of invisible mystery quota, something that says we have to stop at even one, or two? I mean, yes, there are plenty of people out there who only read a book or two in a year. But many, many readers read voraciously! I know people who read hundreds of books in a year, whose appetite only grows with each book they consume. There are MILLIONS of books out there, and the success of one does not mean that others will fail. In fact it means that the industry gets a boost, which means that publishers have more money to spend, which means in turn they have more advances to offer to up and coming authors, or authors submitting a new book.
But apparently Lynn Shepherd thinks that that's it, JKR should be done. She's a successful children's book author so she should be content with that, gosh darn it!
And here's where it makes me pity her, on multiple fronts. First, that she is apparently so closed-minded that she cannot see the facets to YA or try to see the value in it. Second, that she fails to realise how reading works - how so many people read a book and then go and look for more, and how the internet is inevitably a part of that. It doesn't stop at the crowded shelf space, it continues to Goodreads and book blogs and word of mouth. A reader who has had their appetite for a genre whetted does not simply stop at a closed cover, they go searching for more.
Here's where the really sad part comes in - the fact that Lynn Shepherd has now associated herself with a petty article that comes across as whiny, self entitled and full of sour grapes, that criticises a series and a genre without a full understanding of it, and also in the process criticized millions of people for liking a type of book.
That's what her name is attached to. That's the attitude that is now rising through the search rankings.
Who knows. It may just all be a publicity stunt. It may get her a few sales, I'll give her that. But it's more likely to result in what I did earlier today - a simple addition of Shepherd's books to my 'will not read' list. I didn't know her name before today, but now I do, and my first exposure to her is a negative one.
It makes me wonder if she ran any of this by her agent, or publisher.
There are
comments at Dreamwidth. http://kerri.dreamwidth.org/725182.h tml#comments
I read this article early this morning and since then I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.
I started off angry - I'm still angry, I have to admit. I also feel a bit of pity for the woman who wrote it, however, and disbelief that she could ever, ever have thought that this article was a good idea.
The first place she went wrong was by opening with the criticism of the Potter books combined with a jab at those who read them, topped off by her blithely saying that she hasn't read the series or even watched the movies. This is a trifecta of errors that is sure to anger almost any adult reader who has loved the Harry Potter books. She's not the first person to talk shit about a book she hasn't read (I've done it myself, with regards to Twilight and 50 Shades), but then you add in the fact that she is doing this publicly while simultaneously looking down her nose at those who read them and seemingly taking a jab at Rowling herself by saying that she was 'Pottering about'.
Right off the bat, I'd say that she'd have about 80% of the readers who click on her article primed for anger. So what comes next is just the whiny icing on the cake.
By all means keep writing for kids, or for your personal pleasure - I would never deny anyone that - but when it comes to the adult market you've had your turn. Enjoy your vast fortune and the good you're doing with it, luxuriate in the love of your legions of fans, and good luck to you on both counts. But it's time to give other writers, and other writing, room to breathe.
I honestly can't even wrap my head around what she's getting at here. There's a combination of petty whining and also, again, the jab at Rowling - she belongs in the 'kids' genre, apparently, and how dare she try to write an adult mystery. That's not her turf! She doesn't belong there! She's stopping other writers from getting the attention?
Here's where it almost gets funny, because it's like she thinks that readers must have some sort of invisible mystery quota, something that says we have to stop at even one, or two? I mean, yes, there are plenty of people out there who only read a book or two in a year. But many, many readers read voraciously! I know people who read hundreds of books in a year, whose appetite only grows with each book they consume. There are MILLIONS of books out there, and the success of one does not mean that others will fail. In fact it means that the industry gets a boost, which means that publishers have more money to spend, which means in turn they have more advances to offer to up and coming authors, or authors submitting a new book.
But apparently Lynn Shepherd thinks that that's it, JKR should be done. She's a successful children's book author so she should be content with that, gosh darn it!
And here's where it makes me pity her, on multiple fronts. First, that she is apparently so closed-minded that she cannot see the facets to YA or try to see the value in it. Second, that she fails to realise how reading works - how so many people read a book and then go and look for more, and how the internet is inevitably a part of that. It doesn't stop at the crowded shelf space, it continues to Goodreads and book blogs and word of mouth. A reader who has had their appetite for a genre whetted does not simply stop at a closed cover, they go searching for more.
Here's where the really sad part comes in - the fact that Lynn Shepherd has now associated herself with a petty article that comes across as whiny, self entitled and full of sour grapes, that criticises a series and a genre without a full understanding of it, and also in the process criticized millions of people for liking a type of book.
That's what her name is attached to. That's the attitude that is now rising through the search rankings.
Who knows. It may just all be a publicity stunt. It may get her a few sales, I'll give her that. But it's more likely to result in what I did earlier today - a simple addition of Shepherd's books to my 'will not read' list. I didn't know her name before today, but now I do, and my first exposure to her is a negative one.
It makes me wonder if she ran any of this by her agent, or publisher.
There are
Aaaand now I'm all teary-eyed.
Just, this is so beautiful. That moment when she says that she's gay and everyone applauds for her - you can see how nervous and excited she is, the way she's shaking a bit, not able to stand still. She's scared but she's determined to do this, and it means so much to her, and when she goes on talking you can hear her voice waver as she says that she's tired of hiding, tired of lying by omission.
It's amazing and beautiful and brave.
And people wonder why coming out matters.
There are
Man, I'm sad tonight.
It's funny how I still turn to Dreamwidth and LJ when I have something important to talk about. I guess I feel like it just gets lost in the shuffle over on Tumblr and Twitter - too much noise drowning everything else.
My grandmother's friend Edna died yesterday. She went in for knee surgery last week and took a sudden turn for the worse over the weekend. I'm still not entirely sure HOW that happened - she started coughing up blood, her heart started to fail, her organs started to shut down.. I'm not sure exactly how that happens from knee surgery, but her health wasn't that great, so who knows.
I don't know precisely why I'm so sad. Maybe it's because I met her, and she was a sweet lady. Maybe it's because my gran was trying not to cry when she told me - I don't think there's anything worse than hearing someone you love cry out of grief. Maybe it's because my gran said to me that she was alone again, and she'd only have her neighbour Sharon to see, now. She feels that Harold, Edna's husband, won't want to see much of her and that he'll be busy. Maybe that's true, I don't know - friendship is a bit different at that age, I think.
It's hard at times like this - I'm far away, and sometimes the guilt is very hard. I can't move back home, I don't drive and even if I did the job opportunities there are very limited. I try to remind myself that my uncles aren't there either, or my mother, but that doesn't quiet the little voice in my head that is convinced that I should do more, somehow. That's what's hard about living far away from those you care about.
It's also hard to see her world slowly narrowing. Another woman she had known for years passed away today - they weren't close, but it's still one more person from her generation, from her town, gone. I know it's only natural because she's 88, but it's hard because I don't want her to be unhappy, or lonely.
I'm glad that Sharon is close by - and also that she's much younger, and healthy. Knowing that she's there to look in on my grandmother makes things easier, at least. She's lovely and always popping by with little treats for her, and to talk, and to help her. It's nice to know that she has that, at least, even if it's not the same as her friendship with Edna - it's different when there's a generation gap. But still, she makes my grandmother laugh, which is so important. I do hope that Gran keeps going over to visit Harold, he made her laugh too.
Then there's the death of Philip Seymour Hoffman and the fallout from it, and that's making me sad. Sad because he was talented and I think it's truly a loss, and sad because I've seen a lot of people behave like assholes about it - it's a reminder of the stigma of addiction, and how it affects people.
There are
comments at Dreamwidth. http://kerri.dreamwidth.org/724332.h tml#comments
It's funny how I still turn to Dreamwidth and LJ when I have something important to talk about. I guess I feel like it just gets lost in the shuffle over on Tumblr and Twitter - too much noise drowning everything else.
My grandmother's friend Edna died yesterday. She went in for knee surgery last week and took a sudden turn for the worse over the weekend. I'm still not entirely sure HOW that happened - she started coughing up blood, her heart started to fail, her organs started to shut down.. I'm not sure exactly how that happens from knee surgery, but her health wasn't that great, so who knows.
I don't know precisely why I'm so sad. Maybe it's because I met her, and she was a sweet lady. Maybe it's because my gran was trying not to cry when she told me - I don't think there's anything worse than hearing someone you love cry out of grief. Maybe it's because my gran said to me that she was alone again, and she'd only have her neighbour Sharon to see, now. She feels that Harold, Edna's husband, won't want to see much of her and that he'll be busy. Maybe that's true, I don't know - friendship is a bit different at that age, I think.
It's hard at times like this - I'm far away, and sometimes the guilt is very hard. I can't move back home, I don't drive and even if I did the job opportunities there are very limited. I try to remind myself that my uncles aren't there either, or my mother, but that doesn't quiet the little voice in my head that is convinced that I should do more, somehow. That's what's hard about living far away from those you care about.
It's also hard to see her world slowly narrowing. Another woman she had known for years passed away today - they weren't close, but it's still one more person from her generation, from her town, gone. I know it's only natural because she's 88, but it's hard because I don't want her to be unhappy, or lonely.
I'm glad that Sharon is close by - and also that she's much younger, and healthy. Knowing that she's there to look in on my grandmother makes things easier, at least. She's lovely and always popping by with little treats for her, and to talk, and to help her. It's nice to know that she has that, at least, even if it's not the same as her friendship with Edna - it's different when there's a generation gap. But still, she makes my grandmother laugh, which is so important. I do hope that Gran keeps going over to visit Harold, he made her laugh too.
Then there's the death of Philip Seymour Hoffman and the fallout from it, and that's making me sad. Sad because he was talented and I think it's truly a loss, and sad because I've seen a lot of people behave like assholes about it - it's a reminder of the stigma of addiction, and how it affects people.
There are
If you haven't seen this movie, go see it.
If you haven't planned on seeing this movie, reconsider.
Truly amazing performances from Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto... The movie broke my heart and made me angry.
After watching it, I'd say Leto's at the top of my list for the Supporting Actor nom, and McConaughey is up at the top of my list for Best Actor... I know all the chatter is about Leo and Chiwetel - and they were incredible as well - but I actually think the superior performance comes from McConaughey.
The movie delves into the tragedy and politics of the AIDS crisis, and touches on the homophobia and fear that were so prevalent at that time.
There are
comments at Dreamwidth. http://kerri.dreamwidth.org/724018.h tml#comments
If you haven't planned on seeing this movie, reconsider.
Truly amazing performances from Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto... The movie broke my heart and made me angry.
After watching it, I'd say Leto's at the top of my list for the Supporting Actor nom, and McConaughey is up at the top of my list for Best Actor... I know all the chatter is about Leo and Chiwetel - and they were incredible as well - but I actually think the superior performance comes from McConaughey.
The movie delves into the tragedy and politics of the AIDS crisis, and touches on the homophobia and fear that were so prevalent at that time.
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Dear journallers, I have gathered you here today to discuss something that is newly important to me... The Good Wife.
Can I just say that this show is fucking awesome? Seriously. I liked it when I first saw a couple of episodes back when it originally came out, and then a couple of weeks ago I decided that I wanted to give it a try when I saw it on Netflix.
This is such an amazing show. Its strengths are strong, kickass women - MULTIPLE strong, kickass women! Seriously, how often do we see this on TV anymore?
And then we have Kalinda fucking Sharma - a bisexual women of colour who doesn't mince words, takes no prisoners and kicks ass on a regular basis. I love love love her character so fucking much. They don't try to sugar-coat her sexuality, it's right there in the viewer's face, and they don't try to make her lean more towards being straight, either! (Edit: Phrased badly, there - I mean they don't have her lean more towards men.) She's smart and she's savvy and she's confident. <33333333
Seriously, there's so much to love about this show. Alicia is amazing, and so are Jackie and Diane (and Kalinda, as mentioned before). The plots are interesting enough that I blazed through the show pretty quickly and I'm now impatiently waiting for the next episode.
Unf. Why can't all TV be this good? Really?
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comments at Dreamwidth. http://kerri.dreamwidth.org/723806.h tml#comments
Can I just say that this show is fucking awesome? Seriously. I liked it when I first saw a couple of episodes back when it originally came out, and then a couple of weeks ago I decided that I wanted to give it a try when I saw it on Netflix.
This is such an amazing show. Its strengths are strong, kickass women - MULTIPLE strong, kickass women! Seriously, how often do we see this on TV anymore?
And then we have Kalinda fucking Sharma - a bisexual women of colour who doesn't mince words, takes no prisoners and kicks ass on a regular basis. I love love love her character so fucking much. They don't try to sugar-coat her sexuality, it's right there in the viewer's face, and they don't try to make her lean more towards being straight, either! (Edit: Phrased badly, there - I mean they don't have her lean more towards men.) She's smart and she's savvy and she's confident. <33333333
Seriously, there's so much to love about this show. Alicia is amazing, and so are Jackie and Diane (and Kalinda, as mentioned before). The plots are interesting enough that I blazed through the show pretty quickly and I'm now impatiently waiting for the next episode.
Unf. Why can't all TV be this good? Really?
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So, 2013 is almost over... Hard to believe!
The year had some really bad things and some really good things. My cousin Steve died and I still think of him often - I miss his compassion, his heart, his geekery and his humour. I went to Switzerland and France (Paris!!), read a lot of good books, saw Katie twice and got promoted! My grandmother is doing well and I got to see her in September.
I feel like things are slowly improving, year over year. So here's to 2014 - I hope to read a lot, learn a lot, travel and become a better person. Not too much to ask, right?
Happy New Year, everyone :)
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comments at Dreamwidth. http://kerri.dreamwidth.org/723650.h tml#comments
The year had some really bad things and some really good things. My cousin Steve died and I still think of him often - I miss his compassion, his heart, his geekery and his humour. I went to Switzerland and France (Paris!!), read a lot of good books, saw Katie twice and got promoted! My grandmother is doing well and I got to see her in September.
I feel like things are slowly improving, year over year. So here's to 2014 - I hope to read a lot, learn a lot, travel and become a better person. Not too much to ask, right?
Happy New Year, everyone :)
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GUYS GUYS GUYS
Excuse the caps but I am legit excited because Ronald D Moore has another show coming out soon - in January!
It's called Helix and here's the trailer:
Jeri Ryan is in at least three episodes and it looks awesome and I'm so excited :D I miss BSG, so if this show is anywhere near as good...
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comments at Dreamwidth. http://kerri.dreamwidth.org/723348.h tml#comments
Excuse the caps but I am legit excited because Ronald D Moore has another show coming out soon - in January!
It's called Helix and here's the trailer:
Jeri Ryan is in at least three episodes and it looks awesome and I'm so excited :D I miss BSG, so if this show is anywhere near as good...
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Originally posted by
pir8fancier at Signal Boost: Censorship of Indie Authors
Feels like ole times at LJ!
sgamadison has info on her LJ about the current blacklisting by all the major publishing outlets of indie authors whose write sexually explicit material. This is a global effort, WH Smith booksellers in the UK have pulled ALL of their self-published titles and are weeding through them to choose the "desirable" titles versus the smut. Amazon is back to its old model of doing word searches and THEN indiscriminately pulling titles. B&N and Kobo are also pulling titles. Of course, we all know that these books are legal. That's not the point. And we all know that the TOS of these organizations is so vague as to leave one's head scratching. And it does seem a little, oh, I don't know, incredibly craven that they have no problem making $97 million off of the Shades of Gray franchise but seem to have an issue with the titles that they make 50 cents off of.
Mosey on over to her LJ. There are some links of interest and info about an amazon boycott.
Mosey on over to her LJ. There are some links of interest and info about an amazon boycott.

This book was a great read for me!! It could have been cringe-worthy, but for me it felt like this author really gets the experience of fandom. To be honest, I identified with it on a personal level, too... The main character's nervousness and anxiety? SO me at times, it's scary. Not just when I was in uni, either - continues on now, too.
Anyway, I'd really recommend this for anyone who was involved in fandom to any extent, particularly Harry Potter... But it's not just about fandom, it's about growth and romance and family, too. I really enjoyed it. :)
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Not sure how many have you have gotten this notification yet, but Google wants to take information about you and use it to help advertise to your friends.
The information is here: https://plus.google.com/settings/endors ements?hl=en
It looks like they just want to take the stuff that you +1 around the internet to use to advertise to your friends, so it's up to the individual user on how this impacts them, of course - it depends on whether you even use Google+, and if you do, if you care at all. They DO give you an opt-out option, but in the meantime you are opted in. (Of course.)
I, personally, find it kind of creepy. I didn't like it when Facebook started doing it and I don't like it on Google, either. Tbh what Friend A likes does NOT have as much to do with what I like as they would assume, from what I can tell.
Anyway, just a heads up - the opt out option is at the bottom of that page, there.
The full info on their terms of service update today can be found here.
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comments at Dreamwidth. http://kerri.dreamwidth.org/722602.h tml#comments
The information is here: https://plus.google.com/settings/endors
It looks like they just want to take the stuff that you +1 around the internet to use to advertise to your friends, so it's up to the individual user on how this impacts them, of course - it depends on whether you even use Google+, and if you do, if you care at all. They DO give you an opt-out option, but in the meantime you are opted in. (Of course.)
I, personally, find it kind of creepy. I didn't like it when Facebook started doing it and I don't like it on Google, either. Tbh what Friend A likes does NOT have as much to do with what I like as they would assume, from what I can tell.
Anyway, just a heads up - the opt out option is at the bottom of that page, there.
The full info on their terms of service update today can be found here.
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Still loving this show :D
( ThoughtsCollapse )
Not quite as strong as the first episode, but still more than enough to keep me watching. :D
There are
comments at Dreamwidth. http://kerri.dreamwidth.org/722221.h tml#comments
( ThoughtsCollapse )
Not quite as strong as the first episode, but still more than enough to keep me watching. :D
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Second best pilot this year after Orphan Black, imo!!
I caught a clip of this a week or so ago and it caught my attention, but seriously, I was not expecting to enjoy this show as much as I did! The pilot is well written and very tight, from the first few moments to the end. I'm glad that I happened to watch it late in the week, so the next episode is just in a couple of days :D :D
There are definitely moments that remind me quite a bit of Silence Of The Lambs - in a good way, since I love that movie. The comparisons are rather superficial, though, I think we can expect a much different goal of this show and a much different exploration of the characters.
James Spader is fantastic in the show, of course - like he is in pretty much everything he does, from Secretary to Boston Legal. There's action, intrigue, a badass woman who surprised the hell out of me with one of her decisions in this... I'm definitely going to be watching this season!
It's free on iTunes right now, too, so none of you have any excuse not to check it out!!
Anyone else out there watching this show? :D
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comments at Dreamwidth. http://kerri.dreamwidth.org/722061.h tml#comments
I caught a clip of this a week or so ago and it caught my attention, but seriously, I was not expecting to enjoy this show as much as I did! The pilot is well written and very tight, from the first few moments to the end. I'm glad that I happened to watch it late in the week, so the next episode is just in a couple of days :D :D
There are definitely moments that remind me quite a bit of Silence Of The Lambs - in a good way, since I love that movie. The comparisons are rather superficial, though, I think we can expect a much different goal of this show and a much different exploration of the characters.
James Spader is fantastic in the show, of course - like he is in pretty much everything he does, from Secretary to Boston Legal. There's action, intrigue, a badass woman who surprised the hell out of me with one of her decisions in this... I'm definitely going to be watching this season!
It's free on iTunes right now, too, so none of you have any excuse not to check it out!!
Anyone else out there watching this show? :D
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Time to ramble about a variety of topics, hm? :D
1. !!!!
So, how excited am I about the fact that we're getting a new Harry Potter movie?? Oh, very excited, you might say!
Seriously, reading Tumblr today was... Awesome. :D It just made me happy to see familiar people posting, the Harry Potter love... Squee. :D
2. Work is going really well! :D Everyone is really friendly and welcoming, and I think I'm adapting okay so far. I keep waiting for that moment when I make my first big mistake, but we'll see, I guess.
3. I go home in two days!! :) I'm going to go and see my grandmother in Ontario, which will hopefully go well. I'm looking forward to seeing her and maybe seeing some of my other relatives as well... We'll see how it goes. I always feel fat and unaccomplished when I'm home, but eh. :P We'll see.
4. New eating habits! ( Let's put this behind the cutCollapse )
I am worried about next week, however... I mentioned some of this to my grandmother and she has already fussed a bit about whether it's ~healthy~. I don't get it, really - when I think about it, about the only thing she might consider to be missing are fruits and high fibre things like oatmeal. It's not like I can't eat lots of broccoli and spinach and cauliflower and all sorts of other good veggies! So we'll see. I'm going to do my best, though. :D Benefit to going home: I actually have a scale there, haha! I need to get one for here, I think I'm going to order one on Amazon in the meantime.
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comments at Dreamwidth. http://kerri.dreamwidth.org/721732.h tml#comments
1. !!!!
So, how excited am I about the fact that we're getting a new Harry Potter movie?? Oh, very excited, you might say!
Seriously, reading Tumblr today was... Awesome. :D It just made me happy to see familiar people posting, the Harry Potter love... Squee. :D
2. Work is going really well! :D Everyone is really friendly and welcoming, and I think I'm adapting okay so far. I keep waiting for that moment when I make my first big mistake, but we'll see, I guess.
3. I go home in two days!! :) I'm going to go and see my grandmother in Ontario, which will hopefully go well. I'm looking forward to seeing her and maybe seeing some of my other relatives as well... We'll see how it goes. I always feel fat and unaccomplished when I'm home, but eh. :P We'll see.
4. New eating habits! ( Let's put this behind the cutCollapse )
I am worried about next week, however... I mentioned some of this to my grandmother and she has already fussed a bit about whether it's ~healthy~. I don't get it, really - when I think about it, about the only thing she might consider to be missing are fruits and high fibre things like oatmeal. It's not like I can't eat lots of broccoli and spinach and cauliflower and all sorts of other good veggies! So we'll see. I'm going to do my best, though. :D Benefit to going home: I actually have a scale there, haha! I need to get one for here, I think I'm going to order one on Amazon in the meantime.
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Just came upon this when someone linked it on Facebook...
http://givenbreath.com/2013/09/03/fyi-i f-youre-a-teenage-girl/
This line especially popped out at me:
Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t ever un-see it?
...
I just don't even understand why parents don't stop and question this? Why do they think of men as so incapable of self control? As one commenter asks, what is she going to do when she realises that her sons could become aroused just seeing a woman walking down the street, or by going to the beach, without any provocative poses involved...
I just wish that I thought that parents were teaching both their sons and daughters to be respectful of each other instead of slut shaming girls and blaming them for their boys not being 'pure'. I think she has the best of intentions but she fails to realise the way that she's sounding - or that she's being a bit of a hypocrite, because the very pictures she's posting of her sons could be sexualised by girls... So why is she putting them up, especially on this post of all places?
There are
comments at Dreamwidth. http://kerri.dreamwidth.org/721544.h tml#comments
http://givenbreath.com/2013/09/03/fyi-i
This line especially popped out at me:
Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t ever un-see it?
...
I just don't even understand why parents don't stop and question this? Why do they think of men as so incapable of self control? As one commenter asks, what is she going to do when she realises that her sons could become aroused just seeing a woman walking down the street, or by going to the beach, without any provocative poses involved...
I just wish that I thought that parents were teaching both their sons and daughters to be respectful of each other instead of slut shaming girls and blaming them for their boys not being 'pure'. I think she has the best of intentions but she fails to realise the way that she's sounding - or that she's being a bit of a hypocrite, because the very pictures she's posting of her sons could be sexualised by girls... So why is she putting them up, especially on this post of all places?
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So a couple of weeks ago my laptop suddenly stopped charging - the battery just sits at 0% all the time, but says it's charged. :P Fun!
I put off taking it in, though, because that was right around when my training started for my new job and my schedule switched to 9-5... And basically I'm lazy and was hoping to go in at the beginning of my shift and drop it off and hope that it was done by the end of the day :P
Except last night I was opening a Doctor Pepper and I wasn't paying attention and it fizzed all over - including on my keyboard :/ Now a variety of keys don't work - mainly on the right side of the keyboard. Sigh. I tried cleaning out between them but no luck - in fact when I tried again this morning, more keys stopped working! o_O There's no liquid left inside, though.
Anyway, for now I've picked up a wireless keyboard to use... I'm thinking that what I'll try to do is take the computer in, tell them about the battery and not mention the issue with the keyboard. I'm hoping that even with the tests that they undoubtedly do, they'll determine that the battery's problem is unrelated...
I'm still irritated with myself though, haha. I mean, I'll just suck it up and pay for the replacement if I have to, but it'll drive me nuts that up until last night it was covered by warranty and now it's not. Sigh. Please, Apple, please be nice to me...
Other than that, life is pretty good, though. Going home in a couple of weeks :) It'll be nice to see my grandmother, but I can't help thinking about how I saw Steve, last year... :(
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comments at Dreamwidth. http://kerri.dreamwidth.org/721018.h tml#comments
I put off taking it in, though, because that was right around when my training started for my new job and my schedule switched to 9-5... And basically I'm lazy and was hoping to go in at the beginning of my shift and drop it off and hope that it was done by the end of the day :P
Except last night I was opening a Doctor Pepper and I wasn't paying attention and it fizzed all over - including on my keyboard :/ Now a variety of keys don't work - mainly on the right side of the keyboard. Sigh. I tried cleaning out between them but no luck - in fact when I tried again this morning, more keys stopped working! o_O There's no liquid left inside, though.
Anyway, for now I've picked up a wireless keyboard to use... I'm thinking that what I'll try to do is take the computer in, tell them about the battery and not mention the issue with the keyboard. I'm hoping that even with the tests that they undoubtedly do, they'll determine that the battery's problem is unrelated...
I'm still irritated with myself though, haha. I mean, I'll just suck it up and pay for the replacement if I have to, but it'll drive me nuts that up until last night it was covered by warranty and now it's not. Sigh. Please, Apple, please be nice to me...
Other than that, life is pretty good, though. Going home in a couple of weeks :) It'll be nice to see my grandmother, but I can't help thinking about how I saw Steve, last year... :(
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Excuse me, I'm having a 'fuck everything' moment.
No, really.
TW for rape, here.
Teacher gets 30 days for raping a student who later committed suicide.
So let's see.
He had prior warnings. He even ADMITTED that he raped her. She was fourteen - that's how old you are in grade eight. Not even in highschool yet! Not even old enough to fucking drive or drink in the US, but according to the judge, 'she was as much in control of the situation".
But he gets 'fifteen years with all but thirty days suspended'. What the fuck is that? Seriously?
Just - I get so fucking angry about situations like this. And then I get depressed, because when will it fucking change? You have men who think this way in charge of the justice system, raising more men to think the same way they do, brainwashing women to believe the crap that they're told about each other and their sexuality.
Generation upon generation stewing in the idea that most women are sluts who deserve it anyway.
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comments at Dreamwidth. http://kerri.dreamwidth.org/720869.h tml#comments
No, really.
TW for rape, here.
Teacher gets 30 days for raping a student who later committed suicide.
So let's see.
He had prior warnings. He even ADMITTED that he raped her. She was fourteen - that's how old you are in grade eight. Not even in highschool yet! Not even old enough to fucking drive or drink in the US, but according to the judge, 'she was as much in control of the situation".
But he gets 'fifteen years with all but thirty days suspended'. What the fuck is that? Seriously?
Just - I get so fucking angry about situations like this. And then I get depressed, because when will it fucking change? You have men who think this way in charge of the justice system, raising more men to think the same way they do, brainwashing women to believe the crap that they're told about each other and their sexuality.
Generation upon generation stewing in the idea that most women are sluts who deserve it anyway.
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Got this from Peg Kerr...
Remember that guy who did the proposal video last year? The Lip-Dub Proposal?
He did a follow up video...
Not going to lie, when it zoomed in on the grandmothers the tears just came flooding. Just makes me think of my grandmother and my Grandpa Murray, and then my Uncle Bill and Aunt Mary... Five kids, eleven grandkids. Just tugs at your heartstrings.
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comments at Dreamwidth. http://kerri.dreamwidth.org/720616.h tml#comments
Remember that guy who did the proposal video last year? The Lip-Dub Proposal?
He did a follow up video...
Not going to lie, when it zoomed in on the grandmothers the tears just came flooding. Just makes me think of my grandmother and my Grandpa Murray, and then my Uncle Bill and Aunt Mary... Five kids, eleven grandkids. Just tugs at your heartstrings.
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Grrr.
I love being Canadian and living here, but god I hate how stuff is restricted to the US, sometimes :P
Let's see, the US Netflix has more stuff, the US iTunes has more stuff, websites restrict based on where you are, and now it's a pain in the ass to get cheap cat food :P Nothing like going to Amazon.com to look at something and then seeing that dreaded little message - "This cannot be shipped to your default address".
Sigh.
Oh well, I found a different brand that I think I'm going to test out... I'm trying to help Abby lose weight - she's become very roly-poly - and I've also switched to feeding the cats wet food only... I started reading about the best foods to feed cats and pretty much wet food is the best, so that's what I'm doing for now. I may start introducing a bit of dry once Abby has slimmed down, though. The reason being that wet food seems to be expensive... I suppose the Superstore might have stuff that's cheaper, but that's not very good quality, either, and it definitely leads to stinkier cats :P It'd work out to about $2 a day, and $60 a month seems to be a lot to spend on my cats and that doesn't even include litter... Oh, the things we do for our pets!
There are
comments at Dreamwidth. http://kerri.dreamwidth.org/720357.h tml#comments
I love being Canadian and living here, but god I hate how stuff is restricted to the US, sometimes :P
Let's see, the US Netflix has more stuff, the US iTunes has more stuff, websites restrict based on where you are, and now it's a pain in the ass to get cheap cat food :P Nothing like going to Amazon.com to look at something and then seeing that dreaded little message - "This cannot be shipped to your default address".
Sigh.
Oh well, I found a different brand that I think I'm going to test out... I'm trying to help Abby lose weight - she's become very roly-poly - and I've also switched to feeding the cats wet food only... I started reading about the best foods to feed cats and pretty much wet food is the best, so that's what I'm doing for now. I may start introducing a bit of dry once Abby has slimmed down, though. The reason being that wet food seems to be expensive... I suppose the Superstore might have stuff that's cheaper, but that's not very good quality, either, and it definitely leads to stinkier cats :P It'd work out to about $2 a day, and $60 a month seems to be a lot to spend on my cats and that doesn't even include litter... Oh, the things we do for our pets!
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Remus Lupin lovers who don't have a head-canon they don't want spoiled should check this entry out:
http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/80 132430.html#cutid1
More information about Remus from Pottermore. :D
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comments at Dreamwidth. http://kerri.dreamwidth.org/718789.h tml#comments
http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/80
More information about Remus from Pottermore. :D
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Okay, I'm supposed to pair all of the Jaeger pilots together, right? I was pairing/slashing Charlie Hunnam with everyone...
( Spoilers behind the cutCollapse )
Overall a fun movie, though, and I really enjoyed it. :D
There are
comments at Dreamwidth. http://kerri.dreamwidth.org/718395.h tml#comments
( Spoilers behind the cutCollapse )
Overall a fun movie, though, and I really enjoyed it. :D
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Holy crap, Cory Monteith. He's one year younger than I am.
So sad, and how horrible for his friends and family and fandom. Too talented and too young.
There are
comments at Dreamwidth. http://kerri.dreamwidth.org/718083.h tml#comments
So sad, and how horrible for his friends and family and fandom. Too talented and too young.
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...
I want to say that I can't believe what happened tonight or that Zimmerman was found innocent, but I can't. I was worried from the beginning that this would happen, and that he'd walk free.
I'm just so sickened about this. The debate in Canada in my parts has been very different - it's been purely focused on 'why the hell did he have a gun' 'why did he follow the kid' 'why did he shoot an unarmed teenager'. No defense at all of 'Stand Your Ground' laws.
It's just awful. :/
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comments at Dreamwidth. http://kerri.dreamwidth.org/717912.h tml#comments
I want to say that I can't believe what happened tonight or that Zimmerman was found innocent, but I can't. I was worried from the beginning that this would happen, and that he'd walk free.
I'm just so sickened about this. The debate in Canada in my parts has been very different - it's been purely focused on 'why the hell did he have a gun' 'why did he follow the kid' 'why did he shoot an unarmed teenager'. No defense at all of 'Stand Your Ground' laws.
It's just awful. :/
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